


Back to the start

by VoicesOfMayhem



Series: Back to the start [1]
Category: The Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-29
Updated: 2017-07-29
Packaged: 2018-12-08 11:16:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11645463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VoicesOfMayhem/pseuds/VoicesOfMayhem
Summary: Always wondered about Lexi's past? Lets take this back to the start.





	1. Chapter 1

Back to the start. -- #PartOne

▬ Nobody said it was easy, Oh; it's such a shame for us to part.  
Nobody said it was easy, No one ever said it would be so hard.  
I’m going back to the start. ▬

~~ Boston - 1678 ~~

|The sun was high and the day had started out much as it usually does; but there had been something niggling at the back of my mind, I tried to push it aside and focus on anything else, since our Mother had passed away a few years ago, it was only my Father, my little brother Charles and I. Trying to juggle between the role of teenager, mother as well as daughter wasn’t an easy feat. Charles was young and needed someone to be there to make him dinner, get things ready for school and tuck him in at night with a bedtime story. Father worked all day, I didn’t want to worry him when he finally came home. I knew he missed Mother as much as we did, if not more. She was his one true love; as the months went on; he started to lose himself in the bottle of whiskey every night after work. Making sure that there was food on his table by the time he arrived home to making sure that Charles was in bed and asleep before his bedtime. It didn’t leave much time for me to be a teenager. I didn’t mind though; I held no ill feelings towards Mother and I knew that this is what she would have wanted.

“Alexia … Is all okay?.” 

Shaking my thoughts of my family aside, I felt guilty that Roger had asked to escort me home and all I did was focus on my family, pausing for a brief moment, I turned to face my friend.|

I apologize, Roger. My mind has been somewhere else today. However, thank you for walking me home. 

|Flashing a soft smile in Roger’s direction but before either of us was able to say something, I heard Charles calling my name.

”Lexi, It's Papa, Come quick”

His little cheeks red and puffy as tears poured down his face, throwing a concerned glance over at Roger, I apologised for making our walk shorter than it usually was, Dropping to my knees so I was face to face with Charles and wiping the tears from his eyes, I tried to console him as the best I could. Pressing my lips to his forehead as I instructed him to do as I said.|

It will be okay, Charles. I’m going to need you to be brave for me, okay? You’re going to need to get help from Mr. and Mrs. Winterbourne, I’ll stay with Papa .. Just go, quickly.. 

|Turning around, my feet carrying me as quickly as possible into the house and towards our father; who was passed out on the floor of the lounge. It was unusual for him to be home this early in the day. Instantly, I dropped down on the floor, running the back of my hand over his forehead, he had a fever; I knew from previous experience looking after Charles that father was sick. Pushing myself to my feet, I grabbed a rag from the kitchen and stuck it under cold water within seconds I was back at his side, wiping the cool cloth against his very warm skin. My heart hammering in my chest in fear of losing father. It didn’t matter that he wasn’t as he was before Mothers death, He was still our flesh and blood and both Charles and I needed him.

It had been hours; Charles had done as I asked and brought Mr. and Mr. Winterbourne to our home alone with the town doctor; I could hear them whispering amongst each one another; but in order to keep from causing a scene and scaring my little brother; I put on the best smile that I could under the circumstances. Made him some dinner and sent him to bed with the usual bedtime story; staying a little longer at his side until I was sure he was asleep before, quietly moving out of the room.|

Please tell me what is wrong with Father, Charles is sleeping .. I can handle this. 

|Glancing between the three grown ups; I noticed the way they were looking at one another; like there was this secret that they were too scared to share with me, I had grown to be both Mother and Father figure to Charles; I just needed to know if we were about to be orphans. It took a while before the doctor explained that Father had Smallpox; an outbreak that was killing more than a fair share of the town population. We had already lost people to this horrid disease.|

Is … Is Father dying? 

|Holding back the tears as much as I could, I didn’t dare look towards anyone but the doctor. If I did, the chances were I’d break down.

“I’m afraid I can’t answer that, we will have to wait and see.”|

\------------------------

|It had been the longest week of my life; between getting Charles to school, fed and bed; it was the only time I left father’s side. At first he seemed like he was getting better; I knew better though than to hold out too much hope. 

“Lexi!” I barely heard the sound of his voice as he called out my name, glancing up from the chair in the opposite side of his room. The sun had been streaming in and I felt that /maybe/ today would be the day he got better. Setting down my book and uncurling myself from the chair, I moved across to his bed; taking a seat on the edge, before taking his hand into my own.|

I’m here, Father. How are you feeling? What would you like me to get for you?  
|Reaching for the water that sat beside him, thinking that was what he wanted, but I paused when he started to try and talk.

“Lexi … I need you to be strong; you need to look after Charles” my brows furrow in concern as my head moved side to side.|

No Father, You’re going to get better. The doctor even said that. Charles needs you … /I/ need you.

|I wanted to beg him, to promise that I would do /whatever/ was necessary to keep him with us, we had already lost Mother a few years ago, we couldn’t lose him too.

“I’m sorry, Lex. I’m sorry I let you down, I just … I love you … Alexia .. Look after Charles”

With tears streaming down my face; I lay my head on his chest and cried .. Charles would need me to be strong.

It only took a few days to organise his funeral at the local cemetery in town; everyone showed up and paid their respects, it didn’t make anything easier though. Sliding Charles tiny hand into my own; I gently tugged him forward, running my hand over the surface of the casket; I fought back the tears; determined that I wouldn’t let Charles see me cry.|

I love you, Papa .. I promise nothing will ever happen to Charles.

|Turning to my little brother, I lowered myself to his height.|

It's time to say goodbye to Papa, Charles. I know it’s hard, but we have to be strong. He is with Mama now .. and happy. 

|Despite it all a rush of piece washed over me with the thought of Mama and Papa being here, watching over us; I edged Charles closer to the coffin to allow him to say his own goodbyes. He would need this as much as I would. I didn’t know what would happen next, or how I would look after him .. bring food on the table, but I knew that whatever it took; I vowed I’d never let anything bad ever happen to him as long as I was around.|


	2. Part 2

▬ Grief is like the Ocean; it comes in waves, ebbing and flowing.   
Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming.   
All we can do is learn to swim. ▬

~~ Boston - 1680 ~~

|Two years. 24 months, 730 days, 17 520 hours. That’s how long it had been since Father passed away. Two years that I had been caring for Charles. It wasn’t easy taking on the Mother, Father and Sister role, but it was what needed to be done if I was too keep him safe. 

The morning sun was already out in full force, Charles was at school and I needed to be at the Coffee House; work was scarce and I needed every penny we had to put food on the table and clothes on Charles. I remember before Mama passed how she taught me to sew. But materials -- when you could get them; were expensive; I did my best, Charles seemed happy with what he got. I just wished I could give him more.

Taking the familiar path down to the Old Granary Burying Ground where Mama and Papa were laid to rest. Stopping just before I arrived, I dropped to my knees and looked for two of the most beautiful daffodil flowers I could find. Plucking the stem carefully. The sweet scent assaulted my nostrils; standing up and dusting myself off. It was hard to believe that it had been two years. I missed them both dearly; but I couldn’t fall apart. Not while I had Charles to look after, that’s not what they’d have wanted for him.

It wasn’t a long walk before I reached their graves. Dusting off what I could, I set a single Daffodile by Mama’s and then one by Papa’s grave. It was the only time I could really talk to them.|

I miss you Mama .. Papa! Charles is doing well. You would be very proud of him. 

|I couldn’t help but smile slightly at the thought of my baby brother. He wasn’t so much a baby anymore; but that’s what he would always be to me. There was so much I wanted to tell them, things I’d loved to have said, but sitting here seemed a bit silly. I wasn’t sure if they could even hear what I had to say. After all, who knows what happened when you died. Pressing my lips to my fingers; before gently running my fingers along their names trying my hardest to keep the tears at bay; and reminding myself I needed to stay strong. I knew once I started to cry there’d be no going back. 

As I was starting to head back in the direction I’d come I noticed a man I had never seen before standing in the distance, he seemed to be staring at me but I shook off the eery feeling I got; steps quickening for fear that I was about to be late at my job, I couldn’t afford any excuse not to get paid at the end of the week. It was beginning to warm up and Charles would need some summer clothes before it became too hot.|

\---------------------------

|After running around on my feet all day, the only thing I wanted was to go home. Bidding a farewell; I started off in the direction of the home I shared with Charles, leaving the coffee house; I noticed the same Man from this morning. 

“Alexia .. is it?”

Brows arching slightly in confusion over how this stranger knew my name. Nodding my head; before I said anything.|

Yes, That is my name. Who is inquiring?

|He smiled and I relaxed just a little when he introduced himself as #Joe and said he was new and just passing through; that we reminded him of his siblings. There was something very different about him. I couldn’t quite put my finger on what it was. 

With blonde hair and bright blue eyes; he was very handsome. For the next couple of weeks he would come by, befriending Charles and doing things with him that an older brother or Father would want to do, I was hesitant about it at first, I didn’t want Charles growing attached to someone else that would leave and Joe had nothing to keep him here. However, weeks turned to months and he had become a great friend to have around. Finding that we had a lot more in common with him than I had originally expected. 

It was one night after Charles had been sent to bed that Joe and I were sitting outside, drinking a bottle of Papa’s old whiskey.

“Do you ever think of what will happen to Charles should you get sick or something happens?” 

The question caught me off guard. It was something I thought about a lot. We had no other family and he was still too young to care for himself. Lifting the bottle to my lips, I paused while thinking over his question, before passing on the bottle.|

I do. All the time, Joe. 

|There was silence for a moment before he spoke up again.|

“I can help you with that, Alexia. I can make it so you’ll live for an eternity. You’ll always be around to look after him”

Eyes narrowing slightly, if I hadn’t known better, I’d think he had too much of that Whiskey, or that there was something in it. One couldn’t possibly live forever, that was absurd.|

How much have you had to drink, Joe.

|Cracking the slightest of smiles; However, from the way that he was looking at me, I knew he was serious. It would answer a few questions, since I was sure there was something else about Joe which I had never been able to put my finger on.

“It is not a joke, Alexis. I’m serious.”

He hesitated for a moment before glancing away from me.|

How could you possibly make me live forever? Everyone has to die at some point. 

|I was more curious now about what he was talking about. Moving slowly off the chair until I was kneeling in front of him, hand lifting to press against his cheek, I guided his face back to look at me. But this time it was different .. His eyes, The veins on his face, his teeth. A gasp falls from my lips as I try to move away from him as quickly as possible .. He was a .. Monster.

“Alexia .. Do not be afraid. I can make you what I am.” 

Shaking my head; once I was able to scurry to my feet; my entire body shaking but I couldn’t look away. Part of me terrified, yet part of me curious.  
“Please don’t be afraid, Alexia .. I will not hurt you”

As curious as I was, I continued to move away from him; fear rushing through my blood.| 

Please, Joe .. You must go. You cannot be here any longer. 

|He looked … sad. And part of me felt guilty. He had enough faith in me to tell me what he really was and the first thing I did was send him away. Charles had grown close to him in the last few months and as much as I didn’t want to admit it. So had I. But I couldn’t allow a Monster to be near my little brother.|


	3. Part 3

▬ Just because the world sees you as a monster, doesn’t mean you have to be one. ▬

~~ Boston - 1680 ~~

|For the next two or three days after finding out the truth about what Joe was, I spent the nights tossing and turning, his words running through my head on a continuous loop, “You can look after him for all eternity, Alexia” He was right and deep down I knew it. If I was too keep my little brother safe, there was only one way I was going to achieve that. I had tried to explain to Charles why he couldn’t be around Joe any longer, even as the words left my lips; they sounded so strange to me. I wondered how he would ever believe me.

“I know what he is, Alexia … Joe’s our angel.”

Angel? I wouldn’t call him that but he had come to us in a time when we needed him, out of nowhere and made me believe again. Now he was offering me something no one else ever would. But was it all going to be worth it? 

Shaking the thoughts from my head, I moved from one tiny room to the next in what Charles and I called home. My brother was getting older now and occasionally I let him walked himself home from school. Especially on days when I would be at the Coffee House for my shift. Today however, was one of the few days I had off, it gave me just long enough to get dinner ready and the house cleaned before Charles was due back. 

It was already starting to get dark when I finally heard my little brother’s laughter ring out from the distance, marching to the front door, I was ready to yell at Charles and demand to know where he had been when I suddenly noticed someone else with him, eyes narrowed towards the dark figure.| 

Charles, come in here this minute. Do you have any idea how worried I was, You were supposed to be home hours ago. 

|Hands moved to my hips as I gave him a warning look; but my expression softened when he looked up at me, his little face full of concern and shock. I tried not to make a habit of shouting at him, but I had been worried sick and doubted I could handle anything happening to him.

“I’m sorry, Alexia. Please don’t be mad. I was not alone.” 

Furrowing my brows; I sighed deeply before dropping to my knees so I was face to face with him.| 

I am not mad at you Charles, I was scared. I don’t know what I would do if something happened to you, don’t be sad. 

|I was only afterwards that it registered to me what my brother had said, Standing up once again as my gaze found Charles. Without even glancing at my brother again, I tried to keep my tone stern.|

Charles, go wash up and let me and Joe talk.

|Without so much as an argument, he ran inside leaving us alone. I wanted to scream at Joe for keeping my brother out late, kick him off our property and threaten to tell everyone what he was, but it wasn’t just what I would do without Charles that was running through my head, but more importantly. What would happen to him if I passed away. Who would look after him, how would he survive. It was questions that had been haunting me for years -- but more so, the last few weeks. Joe was the only person who could make that happen. 

“I am terribly sorry, Lexi. Charles is a good kid. Have you given anymore thought to my offer?” 

Staring at him for a long moment; trying to figure out if this was real or if there was some hidden agenda here. Finally, expelling a light sigh, I nodded slowly and made sure to keep my voice low enough that my brother didn’t hear what we were talking about.| 

I will do whatever is needed of me to keep Charles safe. But he does not need to know about this. 

|Obviously, I couldn’t keep it a secret from him, he’d pick up that I was different .. like Joe now and I’d explain to him that it was just to keep him safe, possibly given him the choice if this is the life he wanted. I wouldn't push it on him though.

“We will do it when he is sleeping”|

\----------------------------------------------

~~ Boston - 1686 ~~

|The last six years seemed to had flown by, it had been hard transitioning into this new life, but I finally felt like I belonged, Joe had stuck around long enough to teach me how to control my hunger and feed without killing anyone. I personally didn’t like feeding off humans and only did that when I /really/ needed too. Other times we did what we could to survive. Charles was well aware of what I had become but seemed to adapt to my new lifestyle a lot quicker than I had. 

When people started to talk about Joe and I never getting older, he decided to leave not before he begged us to go with. I couldn’t uproot Charles though. He was finishing High school now besides; this was where our parents were laid. It was home, I could never picture living anywhere else. Despite the warnings from Joe. 

One night after Charles went to bed; I felt the familiar burning sensation start; it had been a few weeks since I’d fed, so I waited until Charles was asleep before venturing off from the cottage and into the nearby woods. It was rare to see anyone around at this time, but as I let my eyes adjust to the darkness; I noticed a horse and cart start to appear from a few miles up; running into the middle of the road, I waved the man down and waited for him to get off the cart.

“Ma’am .. Are you alright?”

The usual concern filled his eyes as he looked over my torn dress; slowly approaching him, I locked eyes and whispered. I wasn’t sure if it would work, I’d learnt from Joe that it was possible to compel humans, but it always worked better on vampires who fed regularly.|

This may hurt a little but don’t scream.

“My eyes closed as I took in the scent of his blood, only the moonlight to illuminate my features as they changed from “Damsel in distress” to the monster I had become. But I didn’t allow myself those thoughts, only ones of the human's blood that was now calling to me. Within minutes my teeth had sunk into his jugular vein, a soft groan falling from my lips as the metallic taste of his blood ran down my throat, forcing myself to pull away the moment his heart began to beat slower. I pulled away and ordered him to get back on his horse and forget that he ever saw me.

Wiping the blood from corner of my mouth, already feeling better even though I had hadn’t feed nearly as much as I should have. I turned and started back towards our house when the sound of screaming and bright orange light caught my attention, I could feel my heart drop the second I realised that it was coming from the direction of my house.| 

Charles

|I wasn’t sure if the scream came from me or someone else, I sped as quick as I could in the direction I’d come from but it was too late. Our cottage was on fire and my brother was trapped inside, it was the day that my whole world came to a stop. I had spent so many days looking after my brother and doing what I could to keep him safe and make sure that he never lived a day in this cruel world alone that I didn’t think about what I would do when the day came that I lost him. I think in the back of my head; I always imagined him wanting to turn and living eternity together. For the first time in my life, I was alone. I had no idea what to do or where to go, but I knew I couldn’t stay here.|


End file.
